Last night.....






Last night I held you as you cried out for him. 
Last night you grabbed me as the tears kept coming. 
You held me tight, rested your head on my chest.
I cried with you because I miss him too.
But mostly I cried FOR you, because I know how much you hurt. 
This is unfair to you. You are only 9 years old. 
You should not have to feel this pain. 
You should not have to be without him. 
I asked you if you have questions, and you said no, that you just missed him. 
I asked you if you understood why he died. 
You said, because his liver and kidneys were swollen and he had cancer. 
I told you how he fought, and that he never wanted to leave you. 
I told you how he is still here in our hearts, and memories. 
I told you how much he loves all of us. 
We can look at pictures and videos and tell stories if that helps. 
I don't know how to help you, but I know you needed to cry. 
I told you to cry as long as you needed and as loud as you want.
You did that. We did that, together. 
It broke my heart to pieces. To hear you cry out for him. 
Your only 9....your only 9. 
Last night I held you as you cried out for him. 
Last night you cried for your Daddy. 
I love you my beautiful son. 



For Jay3

Comments

  1. Giada ColomboJuly 19, 2017 at 4:11 PM

    I lost my husband March 27, 2017 to bladder cancer that returned after 7 years and spread to his liver and nearly all bones throughout his pelvis, sacrum and in other places. He was suffered greatly and was gone quickly; too much suffering but gone to soon. He left behind a 9 year old daughter. I read what you wrote for your son and found it so beautiful and pointed to what I am going through with my daughter. Thank you for sharing. She just returned from a grief camp outside of Seattle, WA and it was very healing for her; however, this will be a long journey. Hugs

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